“Young Roger moved to Hanley Swan and during a few drinks down at The Swan one Thursday night ended up handing over £100 to a local farmer for a donkey. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer phoned and said, ‘Sorry Rog, but I have some bad news, the donkey’s dead, it got hit by a convoy of Audis driving through the village.’
Rog replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I spanked it all acquiring a leisure boat business in Upton Marina.’
Roger said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘Where are you going to keep it?’
Roger said ‘I know a bloke with a camper van, I’ll stick it in there’
The farmer asked, ‘But it can’t stay there forever. What are you going to do with him?’
Roger said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said, ‘Raffle off a dead donkey?!’
Roger said, ‘Yeah. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Roger and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’
Roger said, ‘I went down to the school and got the teacher to get all the kids to sell raffle tickets to win their own donkey. I sold 500 tickets at two quid a piece and made £997.’
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Roger said, ‘Just the guy who won, some bloke who works at Waitrose. I just gave him his two quid back and an extra quid to keep him happy.’ “
