Dave Yates

Just downloaded WordPress for iPhone and making this test post

Hello… crackle…come in… is anyone there…. calling Earth…

I am Dave from a plant called Realitus.  We are our own planet very much at the centre of our own universe. You my friends, are just a distant dot in the night sky. You may have burnt out long ago - frankly we don’t care.

On Realitus we are a race of communicators (web, WordPress, Print design and so on). The most sacred thing on our planet, the Holy Grail of communication, is knowing what to say to people at just the right time and in just the right way to be genuinely helpful to them.

To this end, three of our commandments are as follows:

1. If you are the answer, what is my problem?
2. You’re obviously in it to make money. What’s in it for me?
3. You can say one thing well, two things half as well and three things badly. This self-penned mantra has served us well over the years.

In short, you need to show that you understand my situation and problems; demonstrate that you can supply something of value to me; do it concisely and with impact.

We do a lot of business with the people of Earth. They are very egocentric. The first line of their constitution is

“Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?”.

They are also constantly short of time and culturally they are all selling something and buying nothing. It is interesting that 71% of businesses on Earth fail within a decade of starting up. Our hypothesis is that they are so obsessed with trying sell their own ideas, that they don’t take the time to learn what people want to buy.

So what is the point of all this. Can all these bloody self-appointed coaches, experts and others stop sending me emails that tell me how bloody great they are. Instead could we have emails from people who can understand that we need money, customers, sales and aspirins and we need them right now. Could those people tell us where we find these things and explain how we do it and show why we can afford to pay them and where the return on that investment will be. And for the love of JC, can they do it in less than 5000 words of self-aggrandising bollocks.

Thank you. As the song goes, “Back to Life, back to Realitus”

Following the most impressive WordCamp UK conference in Birmingham - a review will follow at some point - I am persuaded to start a blog. To date I have resisted this, being busy and not at all convinced that my ramblings will be of any interest to anyone. However, I am already convinced that WordPress is the new way of doing the web for me and my customers, I am persuaded that this is now absolutely necessary for me to explore the entire potential of the medium - so here is the blog. It is an exercise in learning through spouting off. And I can sound off on most things. (more…)