27 Feb 11 Response 1a to lazy journalism, ill-informed comment and poor punditry concerning Stoke City

Every week we are treated to a journalistic feast of faeces concerning Stoke City and their apparently notorious style of play. It is ill-informed at best and generally the endless repetition of lazy journalism, written by hacks who have rarely if ever seen Stoke other than on the highly biased and radically edited clips on Match of The Day.

…they point at us, like a retard points at a helium filled balloon, saying “That’s not possible. It’s evil, it’s witchcraft. Burn them”

Let’s just clarify what’s going on: We are Stoke. The laws of media dynamics dictate that we should gravitate towards the relegation zone and stay there, sinking ultimately out of the Premiership. But we don’t, so the media stands there, mouths open in disgust and shock, as we take points of all the celebrity teams. They can’t get over this apparent anomaly in the universal laws of ‘playing the right way’ which dictate that we should be ‘plucky’, but we should ultimately lose and then disappear, grateful for having been allowed a season of humiliating defeats at the hands of nice teams. So when that doesn’t happen, they point at us, like a retard points at a helium filled balloon, saying “That’s not possible. It’s evil, it’s witchcraft. Burn them”.

That, my fragrant friend, was Stoke. They’re here to stay.

I love it when we remind them that we are Stoke and we’ll play how we want. I actually think that sentiment is under-represented in the media. They cannot know the extreme sense of pleasure I get from being part of the Stoke revolution, the nasty bastards who gatecrashed their beautiful party, pissed on the carpet, vomited on the cake, groped the women, nicked anything not nailed down and then left them in tears as they ask ‘who were those horrible people?’.

That, my fragrant friend, was Stoke. They’re here to stay.