15 Aug 08 Bloody wife!
Lots of modifications needed. ‘Friend’ Richard has just busted me over this article and so a bit of political editing in red has been necessary
At the risk of being labelled a misogynist, there are times when I need to curl up in the foetal position and scream but not because of my wife.
Why, when I answer one of her questions with an answer that she might not like, does she then give me wise council think of dozens of other ways to ask the same question? And then ask these questions repeatedly over months if necessary? What on earth makes me so irritating her think that the answer is going to be any different the hundredth time than it was the first time.
And there is the contradictory understanding behaviour. I know if my wife feels guilty about something tired (usually the tidiness of the flat) because she shouts at me is quiet and pensive. She is the messiest busiest person in the UK and she knows that I know and appreciate it, as does everyone who knows her. But when because she keeps the place is a mess so tidy, she shouts at me often gets worn out. Not because I have a go (unless tidying up myself counts as having a go), but because she knows she has made most of the mess and therefore she feels guilty. Ergo sum, let hubby have both barrels.
And the shouty tired woman thing drives the rest of us mad makes us all feel so concerned. Why is it when the kids shout and scream it is a cause for her to be concerned she is gentle and caring- and seek professional psychological advice about them. But shouting, screaming, slamming things, huffing and puffing and petulant snideness is apparently perfectly excusable for her They certainly could not have picked it up from her. I cannot describe believe the intense screaming and shouting that went on this morning because my son had jeans and a tee shirt on and she wanted him to wear shorts and a different tee shirt. What’s the problem? Let him wear what he wants. He’s only going to the child minders and it will all wind up covered in food and grass stains anyway. other people apparently go about doing.
I know that this sort of thing is unreasonable. But we don’t get to talk about it, I say let’s tidy up, we end up talking about me working long hours. I say let’s go out for the weekend, we end up talking about who goes to the supermarket more often. I say anything, we end up talking about everything else and deciding nothing. It’s probably me. I really need to brush up my act.
I have also noticed how unified women can be in these matters. Faced with a group of women, you might hypothetically mention that one of their friends throws plates at their husband and all the others will instantly lose all sense of independent thought and immediately fall in behind the plate-chucker. They will usually all talk loudly and often all at once for fear of letting anyone else (especially a male) have any other point of view. They will ultimately decide that it was entirely the husbands fault and ceramic projectiles were a measured and appropriate response. That is, until any male in the room leaves. They will then decide that the plate chucker is indeed mad and that they all knew it deep down anyway. The depth of reason and logic is indeed something to behold in the fairer sex.
Women will nag and men will get headaches. It is never to do with the rights and wrongs of the point in question, it is the bloody nagging. Sooner or later men have a choice to make. If you acquiesce, it doesn’t work - you still get nagged about the way you do it. If you ignore it, you still get nagged. If you go out to escape the onslaught, you get nagged when you get back. It clearly drives some men to violence. It is driving me to insanity. It is mental torture. make valid suggestions and more fool the man who does not listen and act accordingly.
