27 Jul 10 The bullying behavour of our neighbours, Mr and Mrs Twattock*

Following on from my previous post about the nasty neighbours this entry examines the use of tactics and demeanour to assert unreasonable control over a neighbour – in this instance, us

…all the unwritten sentiment amply stuffed between the lines

So at about 11.30 on Thursday night I do the rounds of the house where I make sure all the doors that are permanently locked are in fact locked. And on the doorstep below the letter-box is a neatly folded piece of lined exercise book paper.

It said, in precis and including all the unwritten sentiment amply stuffed between the lines, that:

How dare you do some garden landscaping without asking us?

We have just got back from our holiday and we felt compelled to stroll into your garden uninvited to make sure you have been behaving yourselves while we have been away. And we are shocked and angered to the core. How dare you do some garden landscaping without asking us if we minded first? I am really pissed off with you because some of the stuff you have dug up is near the fence, between our properties – you know the one we have been pushing back into your property, with a big lump of concrete for the last year, thus extending our border.

We knew you were going to do this you bastards because you had the audacity to talk to another neighbour about it and you didn’t ask our permission.

You are in contravention of the Party Wall Act even though I have no idea what I am talking about

You are in contravention of the Party Wall Act even though I have no idea what I am talking about it just sounds officious and I want to make you think I am going to sue you. And even though your landscaping is nowhere near the party wall I will persist with this hollow bullying, in fact I am going to give you so much shit about this because I am angry.

You must learn that it is not permitted for you to do what you want within the bounds of your own property

I am choosing in this letter to ignore the continual abuse we afford you, namely that:

we we go out of our way to blank you completely;

park our collection of over-sized 4×4 vehicles to make it as dangerous and difficult as possible for you to get out of your narrow drive;

act surly and superior and as antisocial as we can possibly be towards you;

complain non-stop and blame you for building work that was beyond your control and happened over a year ago;

act like sorry victims with no regard for others misfortunes

bad mouth you to any neighbour we come across.

I am, however, choosing in this letter to accuse you of a lack of courtesy towards us because you did not ask our permission to do some work within your own property. I am also ignoring the fact that the work will have no impact on us and we will not be able to see it, other than on our uninvited visits into your garden to have a snoop around.

You will present yourself to me at the earliest opportunity where I shall bollock you to make you stop your outrageous gardening practice. You must learn that it is not permitted for you to do what you want within the bounds of your own property.

Yours etc.

The Twattocks*